Those two over there? They're going to put on their tutus, too. Too droll.

You're going to tell your tales of the days of yore?

Diminutive Lady Muffet reclined on the ground, consuming the cottage cheese that belonged to her. An arachnid arrived and she fled in terror.

So... Ol' Heph, who in my more whimsical moments I refer to as "Alchemist Prime" (he's More Than Meets the Eye), has demonstrated his displeasure at my lax devotion by destroying my second computer in as many years. My Dedicant Program will not be completed this side of the grave.

Remember how my disability hearing was a joke and they didn't have any information more current than '06, so I signed off on another medical release form? Two months later I get a call from the office asking if I've sent in a medical release form, as they didn't have any information more recent than '06. There's no way in hell that they could possibly be that incompetent, even if the entire administration pooled their dumbness resources together, so I went to the hospital to make a direct request for the records to be sent and got myself a lawyer. He's really, really short, and I'm hoping a Napolean complex will result in a dogged determination for victory.

Independence Day was a blast, ha ha.

Hope your lives are peachy.

Okay, so the countless medical release forms I've been filling out were for naught. I went to the hearing and they didn't have any information more recent than the original claim.

This is a perfect example of how life would be better if it were completely different.

In other news, the moon was really, really pretty the other day.

Time's up, enjoy the day.

I've finally got a date for my disability hearing: Friday, the 13th of February. Someone light a candle for me, k? Thanks.

I was paid the biggest compliment ever a few weeks ago. "Adam would never start a cult... but if he did, I'd join, because he would be right." Isn't that the sweetest thing?

Your poop smells funny.

Have a pleasant day everyone, I shall return soon.

Yes, I do still exist. I miss you all very much, and wish I could spend some time here. Unfortunately my financial situation has not improved (a year now since I was last employed, SSI/SSDI hearing has no date set) and so my own personal internet access is non-existant.
I have been making progress on my DP (version 3.0 If anyone who reads this is working on their DP, heed my words: MAKE BACK-UP COPIES!) and still want to contribute to the expansion of ADF. Once my situation improves I will rejoin your ranks and do my part to making the organization (US, dammit, I don't care if my membership lapsed, we're still US) a healthy, supportive and competent entity present in the Neo-Pagan community.
A friend of mine expressed a lack of something in his spiritual path and I handed him our Member's Guide yesterday. The word's still going out.
Timer's counting down, blew all my library time downloading from Sacred-Texts.com. I hope your paths and smooth and bright.

Hi everyone!

The housing aid went through without a hitch, I'm in a new apartment (right across the hall from my meat-loaf buddy, isn't that neat?) and paying very little for it.

Unfortunately my computer died two days after I moved in, so no typing or surfing or downloading porn music. I'm not electronically inclined, but I believe the motherboard melted and took the hard drive with it. That made me sad.

It would be a little more tolerable if the rest of my stuff still worked, but my PS2 and my vcr/dvd player also died, all within a two-week span. Technology and I aren't getting along so well right now. A lightbulb burned out in my kitchen the other day and I almost burst into tears.

So no music, no movies, no games, no internet, but I couldn't be happier. I finally have space I can call my own, with neighbors I trust and love. I no longer have to get dressed to go to the bathroom, no one screams obscenities at my door at 3 in the morning, and I can decorate as I please.

DP progress: My virtues are done!! Or, were done. They were on my computer (doh!) but I think my notes will be sufficient to resurrect them.

The Spring Equinox rocked my world. I finally got my thunderstorm, and the lightning was in all the right places. I couldn't have done better if I had choreographed it myself.

Book reports are another story. I was using downloads instead of hardcopy, so I gotta start from square one with those. I just don't know if I can handle Theogeny again right now, that thing read like stereo instructions.

In other news, the temp agency wants me back and a localish tavern will be hiring. This is a good thing, because I want a phone and CPUs don't grow on trees.

Okay, that's it for this installment. I hope to make this a regular thing again soon.

p.s. The pervert has lung cancer. I didn't have anything to do with it, honest, but I did get a warm fuzzy feeling of satisfaction when I heard about it.

So I'm living next to a pervert. The guy down the hall from me has so far: tried to pressure me into letting his (much, much younger) boyfriend fuck me, destroyed a pair of my shorts in an attempt to fondle my crotch, and makes daily statements about how much he'd like to sleep with me. I'm so glad my room and the bathroom have locks on them.

No, I'm not filing a report. Yet. I know I should (won't someone think of the children?!) because he could try this again with someone weaker than I, but police involvement would ruin my chances for public housing and I need their help to move. So I just stay locked in my room and tell him if he touches me again I'll hurt him.

This, as you can imagine, has done nothing for my view of mankind and the state of the world in which we live. Thanks for ruining my re-entry into society, creep.

Aside from living with a sexual predator, things are going alright. They've increased my dosage, I got a fishie (another betta, I named him Boagrius) whom I love, and if this whole disability appeal doesn't work out I hear the local potato people might be hiring.

Unfortunately my DP work has suffered. I'm still doing daily meditation, but haven't gotten any further on the virtues.

Alrighty, sis wants her computer back. Keep your spirits up and your heads down. Send me some pepper spray.

*Ahem* Mi mi mimimimi...

Grammar and syntax and good punctuation,
typing a thought without abbreviation,
spelling and eloquence make my heart sing;
these are a few of my favorite things.

When the verb's right,
when the tense fits...

Sorry, I don't know the rest of the song so I can't get any further on my parody.

Moving some stuff in today. I'm not looking forward to moving in winter, every time I do I swear it will be the last time, but it never works out that way.

Have I mentioned that I'm gonna get a fish for the place? I'm totally psyched about having a pet of my very own, even if he's not fluffy. Besides, I gotta do something with all the fish food from my last one.

The bookshelf that's acting as my shrine is going to stay here, I'm thinking I'll have to move it all onto my computer desk, since that's the only real piece of furniture I'm bringing.

I'll go to the library and visit you, I promise.

My meatloaf buddy found my journal. Hi meatloaf buddy!

Someone recently brought up paganish movies on the e-mail lists (no, I haven't unsubscribed yet. Yes, I'm a drama queen. stfu :P). One of the movies listed was Nausicaa, which I thought was really amusing because that damn song has been stuck in my head since Saturday.

I did a "getting back in touch" ritual the other day and found the omens to be enlightening. I'm still using The Mythic Tarot, because I have it and am familiar with it. When asked if the gods accepted my sacrifice the nine of pentacles turned up. This card has a picture of Daedalus standing in front of a pile of money with a contented look on his face. I took it as: Yes, they are content. That works for me.

When asked what they offer in return I got the page of pentacles. Young dude standing in a new field. Very promising, I could use a new beginning, and have one in the works.

What they want in the future, tho, is a pain in the ass. Nine of swords, Orestes being confronted by the Furies. I hate coming to terms with my guilt and accepting the consequences of my actions, it's unpleasant. With any luck I too will receive divine intervention.

The establishment where I receive counseling has procured a psychiatrist. Here's hoping for cheaper, more appropriate meds and someone I don't have to be afraid of breaking.

As for your journals:
Yay for employment, bummer about the ritual, there are a shortage of smart wiccans in the world it would be a pity to ruin yours, ballet builds character.

I'd like to say I'll do better on commenting, but chances are I won't be online much after the move. I will, however, have plenty of opportunity to focus on the DP, and will update on that.

Minnesota man hasn't talked to me in weeks. With friends like these, who needs the apathetic public?

I haven't commented on anyone's stuff in a while. I'm selfish like that, surely you've come to terms with that by now. Sorry-ish.

The e-mail lists are really helping me learn a lot about myself. For one, I genuinely dislike people in general. Whenever I observe two or more people interacting I usually get mad at them for doing something lame. Starting a protogrove probably wouldn't be such a hot idea.

Secondly, I'm not the scholarly type. I enjoy learning, but only so far as being introduced to new ideas. The biggest part of it I dislike is historical precedent, that things are somehow more valid the farther back you find an example for them. You know what? The ancients were making this shit up, too! "Historical evidence" is nothing more than really old hearsay as far as I'm concerned. Yes, stupid people piss me off just as much as the next elitist prick, but just because they're dumb that doesn't mean they're wrong.

Were you there when Athena told Bunny#784 that she hates lavender oil and would honestly prefer a Bud Light? No, I didn't think so. Don't presume that you can speak for other peoples' UPGs, it doesn't make you look sophisticated, it makes you look like a bitch. If someone gets results by being nice to the Outdwellers (what ever they may consider them to be) or not salting their sacrifices or doing the Order of Ritual with an eye patch hopping on one foot, let them. Congratulate them on getting their results or shut the fuck up.

NEO-pagan. As in new. Things change, they'll be different for everybody. And unless you can take me back to 700 BC and say "See, they did it like this, because Zeus told them to and nothing else will ever be accepted" or you provide proof that noone in Europe had ever heard of Ba'al or Set or Whoever during your arbritrary time-bubble of worship, your opinion honestly doesn't mean much more to me than the bunny's does. There's more evidence of Protestantism in this town than paganism, does that mean I don't exist? No. People who need to be right all the time by pointing out how someone else is wrong annoy the shit out of me, especially when they don't do it right.

I'm going to celebrate a Holy Day before I go to bed tonight. I'm not going to invite Brigid because we've never been formally introduced. I might, however, still tell people I'm celebrating Imbolc. I might refer to it as Candlemas. I could call it Pre-Superbowl Scat Porn Fest. It really shouldn't matter to anyone else, it doesn't concern them. What does matter is that I'm doing it, I'm liking it, and as far as I can tell the entities I've been communicating with will like it too.

I guess I'm moving in two weeks, to an efficiency above a bar. It seems perfect. Above ground, bound to be quiet in the mornings, all utilities included (cable too). And no lease, which is the really perfect part 'cuz I'm not so sure I like it. Probably just me being bitchy about change, but I'll be trying to get out of there as quickly as possible. This was likely the idea.

Although the cable is included I probably won't be connected to the internet, as I'm too poor to rent a modem from those jerks. This means more trips to the library, maybe I'll get some book reports done.

Funny thing is that the Housing Authority contacted me today, they finally reached my name on the list. Perhaps in a month I'll land an apartment that isn't so cramped and doesn't give me the heebie-jeebies.

Audition is a great movie. I enjoyed it immensely.

I've been playing Everquest the last few weeks, that's why I've been absent here. If I'm at the computer I'm either trying to get my Necromancer's wretched Epic completed or working on my Druid's damn brewing trophy. I'm still thinking about you, just not with the same amount of intensity I displayed before. I'll go back and read my friends' page in greater detail soon, but for now you just have to pick through these statements and find the ones that apply to you:

Pigs rock, but bacon is better.
Have you tried kicking it?
My dreams have been weird lately too, no big thang.
Cypress? I know nothing about those trees.
Fire or water, dear. Those are the divine postal services.
Now who the hell am I supposed to vote for?
The DP is neither a requirement nor a race.
Someday I will track down those images and think naughty thoughts while viewing them.
I'm guilty of not appreciating orange as much as I should, but I still prefer blue.

In other news:
My friends and family are driving me insane. I long for a grapefruit. Procrastination is one thing, but being born in the wrong century is over-kill. I miss my car more than ever. Noone I know is trustworthy. My best chance of winning the lottery is to emulate a Shirley Jackson (?) story. Painting in winter is still stupid. Men with hammers are to be worshipped.

I stopped by the JB oracle and he said something about "Nothing really matters anyway" (I forgot to copy it, maybe 287?). That was followed by the Greek oracle, which told me: 8. 1-2-2: surely then the gods themselves have ruined your mind.
-[Il. 7.360; 12.234]

I laughed so hard I fell up the stairs trying to make it to the bathroom so I wouldn't wet myself.

So I know Wikipedia isn't exactly a model of scholastic excellence. In fact, if there were ever an embodiment of the accessible lie that is public knowledge, this would be it. Be that as it may, it's fast, easy, and provides food for thought. '... we know how to speak many false things as though they were true; but we know, when we will, to utter true things.' - HESIOD

I was looking up gargoyles, because I wanted to know how far back that type of statuary went. What I learned is that "gargoyle" is just the name of the water-spout variety, the dry figures are known as "grotesques," taken from the same root as "grotto".

But what really caught my attention is what they wrote about the term concerning literature:
In fiction, a character is usually considered a grotesque if he induces both empathy and disgust. (A character who inspires disgust alone is simply a villain or a monster.) Obvious examples would include the physically deformed and the mentally deficient, but people with cringe-worthy social traits are also included. The reader becomes piqued by the grotesque's positive side, and continues reading to see if the character can conquer his darker side.

It turns out I've been surrounding myself with the perfect role-models this whole time.

Been giving my brain a break last few days. Pulled the workshops off repeat, stopped reading the classics, ignored my inner dialogue. Filled my time with housework and cribbage, I kicked that old woman's ASS!

Fret not Gentle Readers, for this coming week I will have many fascinating points to make concerning the nature of stuff, and things. Rinse and repeat.

"I'm not a pussy. You're a pussy, pussy."

I need to stop taking everything so damn literally. Kyllopodion - Of Dragging Feet They're not saying he's crippled, they're saying he's reluctant. This is a god who must be coaxed, persuaded, or (if you happen to be Zeus) bullied. Makes the continued association with donkeys a bit more understandable too. I get it, yay!

Sacred-texts.com has The Iliad and The Odyssey, but they uses the whole Roman Jove and Juno thing that I don't like. Instead I'm gonna go with Hesiod, make myself a calendar. I don't supposed those count as documentable resources for the DP, do they? Are those disputable translations?

The Scales are being held by Virgo. Learn something new every day. =)

I'm reading, honestly, even if I don't comment.

Um, let's see... Devotees of Hermes can rejoice, I'll be taking up less of your god's time. It's not that we don't get along, or that I'm not learning, but I don't require his tutelage as a Gate Keeper anymore.

Hephaestus was raised on the banks of Okeanos, the river that surrounds the edge of the world. He spent nine years there learning his craft, living between the shore and the horizon. Surely he can teach me a thing or two about borders and gates, right?

And something else, while I'm at it: I don't think Prometheus "stole" anything. I think the fire and crafts were given freely, and Zeus just blamed the messenger. Furthermore, I believe All-Knowing Zeus was fully aware of Hephaestus' part in it all, and that was why he used him to carry out his punishments on Prometheus and mankind. "Nail your buddy to a rock and build an eagle to eat out his liver everyday." That'd be pretty unbearable, knowing you're responsible for your friend's next thirty thousand years of agony. Knowing that the ills suffered by man were shaped and delivered by you. No wonder he's not very social.
( Other_Random_Thoughts )

So I'm still obsessing about thunderstorms. I just can't scratch this itch, I ache for one.

It's very much a Hephaestus thing, too. Sure, Zeus may be the one known for flinging them around, but who makes them, eh? That's right, my god. Mine. That flash of light is a glimpse of his forge, the sparks that fly from his shaping. That roar of thunder is the breath of his bellows, the grunt of exertion he gives, the strike of his hammer. The clouds are the billowing steam from quenching his works, the rain is the sweat coursing from his sooty, chiseled torso (Is that PG-13 enough?). Aww screw it... SEX! The god and the storm make me think of SEX, okay?

I need to move somewhere with storms all year round. Winter is icky.

The shrine update is on its way. But I've rearranged (again) and have to do a new write-up for the pics.

I can't stop eating these cookies. These scrumptuous, delectable, glorious cookies. Mmmm...

So I've been reading more articles at the site, mostly Serith's stuff this round, but as usual a lot of Ian. There was a section on Gnostic/Mithraic Initiation that caught my attention.

Disclaimer: I know nothing about either of those topics. They are not systems I've studied, I couldn't name a primary source for any of this if you held burning coals to my feet, I am ignorant in regards to the beliefs and practices of these groups.

There.
( Rising_from_the_mud )
New Year's Eve was wonderful. I watched some Eddie Izzard back-to-back-to-back, then went out for a few. I'm appreciated by someone, and it feels incredible. I make a positive difference. I need to learn how to play chess well. And glass-blowing, I want to take up glass-blowing. Really really badly.

The sun was out today, it was spectacular.

Hephaestus is the best god ever. That is all.

There's a bunch of fog everywhere, I like it. Did anyone see that John Carpenter flick The Fog? The remake was crap but I really enjoyed the original.

I've figured out how to surround my grove with water, have a real-life example to build on. An island in the sea is too dangerous at the moment, islands get swallowed up all the time. Center of a lake is too calm. But an island in the river? Perfect.

There's a home on the river here named Mead Island, named after one of the most influencial families in the area. This dude owned the paper mill, therefore the river, and thereby the town. And it's just a nice image, a stationary point in the midst of flowing water. I'm stealing the idea and claiming it for my own.

Or maybe not. It's a good day to be indecisive.

I know nothing about history. Did people really use moats around castles, or are they just portrayed that way in fiction? I like the idea, surrounding your land with your own little sea, that is a nicely constructed microcosm. I want a moat.

Building my own inner grove is slow work. Claim the land, till the land, plant the seeds, tend the plants, remove the weeds. Altars to build, wells to dig, stones to erect. A garden? A cave? A waterfall? What kind of forest is it in? Is this a rainforest or an oasis in the desert, hmm? All very time consuming.

I kinda fixed my beads. They're on a chain instead of thread, but now there aren't any amethyst spacers and it looks tacky. Sigh.

So I'm borrowing a camera, but my shrines aren't sitting still long enough to photograph them. The lighting in here is awful.

There was a monster in my room last night. It hissed in my ear, then I heard it brush up against some papers I had on the floor. I thought it left after that, but then I heard it bump the plastic bins beneath my futon. Thank the gods the rules say you're safe under the sheets, 'cuz I was spooked.

I'm too chicken to peek under there and see if it's still there. =(

Mmmm, cookies...

I recently purchased some datebooks for 2007 'cuz I need more organization in my life. One of them turned out to be pretty useful already.
( Neat )